Society lacks psychological libido.
Just filled with apathetic, miserable, whiny, complaining, low-energy, helpless, low-energy, losers.
When I say loser, I’m not talking about a lack of material success. I’m not talking about fitting into some standard that I set based on the superficial.
I’m talking about the fact that people seem to have lost all pride in themselves. They’re content to publicly broadcast how mediocre they are.
It’s weird.
Again, it’s just this low energy, low libido, low everything way of living that lacks luster. There’s no umph.
People have just checked out and given up.
On top of it, you’re deemed hateful if you suggest that people take accountability for literally anything that happens in their lives.
It’s all systemic.
The reason you watch Netflix seven hours a day? Systemic oppression.
The reason why you eat chips and ice cream instead of chicken breast? Systemic oppression.
The reason why you don’t start the business that you dream of and want to start? Systemic oppression.
Has nothing to do with, you know, your own decision-making or anything toxic like personal responsibility.
It’s everyone else’s fault.
It’s so god damn tiresome.
I know you’re sick of it, even if you participate in it. No matter what you project to the outside world when you feel like a loser, you feel it deeply.
Nobody likes to feel like they’re living well below their potential and even if they try to play the mediocrity game that everyone seems to want to play these days, they know it’s bull shit.
So, no, I’m not going to coddle you. I’m not going to give you excuses for why your life sucks. I’m going to tell you the truth whether you like it or not.
How to Become a Loser 101
Lack of worldly success doesn’t make you a loser. Not having an ultimate life passion doesn’t make you one either.
Nor does being out of shape, watching Netflix, playing video games, watching porn, binging reality TV, smoking piles of weed, getting drunk, or any number of vices a loser typically engages in.
It’s not what you do, but how and why you do it.
You’re a loser if you do a few things simultaneously:
You don’t work on yourself ever
You cause unnecessary preventable harm to yourself mentally and physically
The most important part — you take no responsibility for it, have no plans to change, and blame others for your problems
The last bullet point irks me and makes me label people as losers. If you want to ruin your life, that’s fine.
But don’t complain either. And don’t make it my problem that you’re fucking up your life.
I worked at my craft for nearly a decade and went through tons of psychological pain to earn what’s mine. It doesn’t belong to you.
“I have never understood why it is “greed” to want to keep the money you have earned but not greed to want to take somebody else’s money.” — Thomas Sowell
Thought you didn’t like capitalism anyway, so why are you counting my pockets?
The moment you start acting as if something else aside from your own behaviors is causing you to fail, you’re a loser.
Stop Blaming Everything on an “ism”
In certain circumstances, your minority status makes your life harder. No one argues that. But the losers are the ones who make every point of failure in their life a result of what they look like.
Some people don’t understand the soft bigotry of low expectations. If you expect little to nothing out of someone, they’ll conform to those expectations.
Society is teaching people that they can’t win because of their immutable characteristics. It’s infantilizing and dangerous.
Who’s really a white supremacist? Someone who just doesn’t like black people? Or someone who pities black people and literally thinks they live a superior life because of their color?
Critics have a harder time coming at me because I’m black. I was a convicted felon. I worked a $ 10-an-hour job before I found writing. By all statistics, I was supposed to be done for, but I pulled myself up by the bootstraps, so the trite privilege argument doesn’t work.
Racism has zero effect on my life. Zero.
Ditch Your Addiction To Politics
I haven’t come across a single person with politics as a central piece of their identity that seems well-adjusted.
Politics is important, but decision-making plays a huge role in your life.
Say the government meets every one of your demands. Will that help you become self-actualized?
Be honest.
These people who overly preach politics don’t care about you. They just want to exercise power over other people. That’s it.
They’re bitter, and they want to take their shitty lives out on you.
If you’re one of those people, that’s what you’re doing, and you’re a net negative on society. Stop.
Don’t be a “world is out to get me” complainer
The ‘woe is me’ type creates a self-fulfilling prophecy. They expect bad things to happen, so, of course, they attract negativity into their lives. Then, they say, “See. I told you so.”
Everyone has a sob story. We only care about our own and we don’t give a damn about anyone else’s.
If you’ve exhausted every ounce of effort available to you and still fall short, sure, maybe then you get to complain.
Aside from that, it’s important to understand when you’re playing the victim and being a martyr.
You Don’t Have to Think This Way
I know so many people who aren’t losers, who are proud of who they are and what they do, and don’t walk around with this permanent victimhood label regardless of their circumstances.
It’s not about being perfect or denying the role circumstances have in your life. It’s about not wallowing in self-pity for the rest of your life. It’s about having a spine.
You get one life. Why avoid the real fun of the game by sitting on the sidelines? Winning and losing happen in your mind. If you want to stop being a loser, stop thinking like one.
Important Questions to Ask Yourself
What standard do you hold yourself to?
What do you expect of yourself?
Is there anything you can take control of right now to change the way you think about yourself, even if your circumstances don’t change right away?
From the outside looking in, I was still very much a loser when I first started learning about self-improvement.
I still worked an essentially minimum wage job, still lived in a ratty apartment for $ 350-month rent, and I was still broke. But I did change the way I viewed myself and started to act like a winner before I become one.
In short, I started caring about myself and my well-being.
Think about that. Do you…take care of yourself?
You are this person, this vessel with a mind, body, and soul. How well are you taking care of this entity you spend your whole life confined in?
Are you nurturing yourself or destroying yourself?
At a certain point in my life, I realized I was being a loser — made no bones about it, didn’t blame the government or my skin color, and definitely didn’t get into some self-care affirmation routine.
I objectively looked at my life and said, “Oh, yeah, this isn’t good.” And even when I was down and out, I never blamed anyone else for my problems.
Until you admit your role in your circumstances, your life won’t change.
A Subtle Mindset Tweak that Creates Dramatic Results
You’d be surprised how your life can change when you’re simply more positive and expect good things to happen to you.
When you focus on your self-improvement for the sake of your self-improvement, you start to attract opportunities and other like-minded people into your life.
When you start to work on yourself, you develop a vibe. When you start taking pride in who you are and the outcomes you want from life, you’ll notice it, and so will other people.
You’ll have more energy, better energy. The opposite of a loser (picture a politically obsessed, negative, Netflix junkie in your mind right now, not good).
You’ll stand out.
Do the basic self-improvement cliches:
Exercising
Finding creative hobbies
Working on side projects
Sleeping 8 hours per day
Limiting alcohol, drug, sugar, and T.V. consumption (they’re all in the same bullet point for a reason)
Again, it’s not about what you do, but why you do it. The common activities of a loser aren’t the problem. You can be a winner and engage in those activities.
Why you do them matters. It’s a bit of a chicken-egg scenario, but when you have a positive mindset, you tend to have positive activities in your life, or vice versa, whatever.
Most successful people don’t check every box, but they check enough of them. Gradually build a new identity over time. That’s the recipe.
Final Thoughts
There’s not a growing number of people standing up for themselves because they’re being tricked into believing some toxic attitudes.
They’re standing up for themselves because they’re tired of being losers. They’re tired of being coddled and pandered to.
They’re tired of being told their mere existence is a danger to society. They’re tired of a tiny group of genuinely privileged people deciding every facet of morality.
The only way to defeat the cult of loserdom is to call it out for what it is. Nonsense. Illogical drivel spewed by people who lack courage.
You can live whatever life you want.
It’s not about money.
It’s not about fame.
You don’t have to start a side hustle or become a digital nomad.
Just stop being a loser. Wake up in the morning and look in the mirror with some pride.
Try hard. Show up. Don’t fold when life gets hard. Stop complaining about every little thing.
Make incremental improvements in things you care about. Bring back the vigor into your life.
Don’t turn into some wall-E drone who sits around and consumes media all day. Stop falling for this shit.
You’re better than this. And you know it.
Bahahaha! Finally a voice of accountability and criticism -- and best of all, criticism that comes WITH solutions. Something that is sorely lacking in our society. Well done!
Outstanding, inspiring truth and clarity! This should be a full-page op-ed in the NYT. Weekly!