There’s some area of your life you’re refusing to change because doing so would force you to admit how much time you wasted.
It hurts to know you could’ve pivoted and done better a long time ago. But the past is the past. And that past has likely created some situations you need to confront.
If any of the following describe you, it’s time to rip the band-aid.
You Have the Wrong Job or Career
Your work is a third of your life. What you choose to do matters as well as why you choose to do it.
It’s never the job itself, but the way the job impacts your life. Only you know the answer. And the best way to admit you chose the wrong career is to think far into the future.
The idea of staying on the same career trajectory terrified me so much that I managed to do the work to escape it.
Yes, you need healthcare. You need to take care of your family. You can’t just up and quit. I’m not telling you what to do. I’m just telling you what I’ve seen and how important it is to get this part of your life right.
You Have the Wrong Partner
I knew I was going to get divorced while standing on the altar.
Our daughter was two years old at the time. I got married for her. And for a variety of other misguided reasons. I thought I could stick it out long enough to see her through adolescence, or some BS like that. Insanity.
I caved to the pressure of getting married. I wasn’t man enough to walk away. Selfishly, I wanted to stay with her in limbo for the foreseeable future.
Again, I can’t give you relationship advice, but I can talk about the patterns and the red flags. Almost always, deep down in your bones, you know. And the longer you wait, the more difficult it will be and the longer it will take you to get over it.
You’re Not Where You Want to Be in Your Life and It’s Primarily Your Fault
Most people reading this are somewhere on that bell curve of working class to upper-middle. You have plenty of foundation to build a better life from.
Even if you are poor, the fact that you’re reading a blog post shows me that you have it in you to figure out a way to not be poor forever, even if it’s hard.
But I am saying, regardless of your station in life, your decision-making and behavior have some level of influence over your current circumstances.
To what degree? I don’t know. But, you do.
You’ve Wasted Time
Time wasted in the wrong job, with the wrong partner, and having the wrong attitude.
Over the years I’ve received tons of emails from readers. Some of them absolutely break my heart. People tell me they feel like they’ve wasted their entire lives.
I get a sense that for some of these people, I’m the only one they’ve shared these feelings with. Admitting it to themselves is hard enough, let alone sharing it with anyone.
There’s no correct way to live life or balance it. But we all have a tendency to mismanage that time from time to time. If you’ve done that, let it go and start over now.
You Bought the Wrong Dream
Everyone is selling you a dream, including me.
I’m only giving you insights on how to live based on my perspective. Who the hell am I to tell you how to live, right?
You get hit in all different directions, with different dreams people are trying to sell you. You don’t have to buy my dream or anyone else’s. Pick the one that suits you best, but be discerning.
Since I’m giving you my perspective, I’m going to talk about what I consider to be the most pernicious dream.
I call this “dream” the American nightmare.
Crap job. 10-hour blocks of the day either going to, working at, or coming home from that job. Incessant distractions, almost zero time in the present moment, Netflix, and chill with a side of a smartphone running on an infinite loop. Processed food, pills, uppers to get ready for the day, and downers to escape it. Repeat, repeat, repeat.
Ask yourself, do you really want to live in this loop for the rest of your life? If not, the answer to fixing your situation is already inside of you.
I don’t need to tell you what to do because you already know, so just go do it.